Ouran: This Can't Be Happening
by xPockii
Summary: Kira Ryuko, a commoner with high intelligence, manages to get into Ouran High School. He meets Suou Tamaki, founder of the Ouran Host Club. Will they learn his secret? And what will happen when they do?
1. Chapter 1

Woot first story! Alright. I'll be using a few Japanese honorifics so you should get familiar with them, okie?

-san : Ms./Mrs/Mr.-chan: Often used by little kids  
-senpai: Upperclassman  
-chan: Often used by little kids but in this case, by Hannie seeing it's cute and fits him.  
no honorific: The two people are very close already [ Hikaru and Kaoru

Why do I use these? Because it sounds more like them. I'm trying hard to get their personalities right, though, okie? Oh yeah disclaimer... Tamaki-senpai!

Tamaki: Pockii-san does not, in any way, own us.  
Even though how much I wish I do.

* * *

**Chapter 1: Never been more lonely…**

* * *

Ouran High School... 

A place for the rich, as they all say, it is somewhat prestigious. Seemed like practically everyone's lives were so comfortable.

The school itself practically had RICH plastered all over it. Every inch of the school was big, the best looking and there seemed to be a different building for the Middle School, High School and Elementary students.

Son of a major electrical appliance manufacturing company…

Daughter of a major department store owner…

Son of a famous fund manager…

Everyone in here had a huge business booming in practically every part of the world. Everyone… except for a certain commoner.

He was accepted into the school. A brilliant mind, they say. He was a scholarship student, the top in everything in his past school. Valedictorian yet he held a secret unknown by all…

"Alright everyone settle down!" the teacher called as the students hastily sat onto their seats.

"Okay everyone. We have a new student today. Please welcome Kira Ryuko," she said as a blond haired guy stepped inside.

Kira bowed down to the class and raised a hand, smiling a bit. "Ah. Ohayou minna. I'm Kira Ryuko."

"WAAAA!!!"

"Heh?" said Kira, blinking at all the girls looking at him with those hearts in their eyes.

_What's with them? _he thought, a sweatdrop forming on his head, completely oblivious to the charm he sent out. His short blond hair and bright blue eyes definitely made him look cuter… They would've thought he'd look perfect as a girl, even.

This…  
Would be a long year…

_Two days later…Lunch Time_

"Konnichiwa, Ryuko-kun."

Kira looked up at the blond greeting him. He had violet eyes and was pretty charming as he smiled and put his palm out towards him.

"I'm Suou Tamaki. Would you mind joining a club I made, Ryuko-san? Your name has been springing up from a few people lately," he said, smiling at him.

"A club?" asked Kira, looking at him as he swallowed the last piece of chocolate covered stick. "What kind of club?"

At this point, Tamaki seems to have gone all out. He was saying something about the magnificence and beauty and some other stuff. While he was talking, Kira was looking and studying him. Seems to be older… Must be an upperclassman… Suou? Famous, most likely… As well as his family, definitely.

"…and thus these young men with free time will entertain these young maidens with free time as well and-"

"Gomen. I'm not interested," he said, cutting Tamaki short and leaving with his books in hand. Tamaki seemed surprised with the reaction he was given, turning all white, and staring at her with a solid face.

"You're lonely, aren't you, Ryuko-san? Even with your intelligence, you pretend you aren't all that smart just to fit in."

Kira stopped.

_They were laughing about something in the class back in middle school. A girl with long blond hair stood up, said something that would require one to listen to it over and over again, making them shut up. She sat back down, her blue eyes reflecting her sadness and loneliness… _

"We meet everyday like any other club in the 3rd music room. Ja ne," he said, and left Kira, his thoughts full of stuff.

_Later that day.  
Third Music Room._

Kira stood in front of the doors, his hands on the golden handle of the room. He had thought of what Tamaki-senpai said earlier and thought he really was right. Very much right indeed.

* * *

Cliffhanger, no?

No worries. I shall add the new chapter once edited.


	2. Chapter 2

Yaay Kira's turn for the Disclaimer!

Kira: Fine. Pockii owns me such that I'm her original character but doesn't own any of the Host Club membersno matter how much she wishes for it.

Oh and I'll be using Japanese words, okie? Familiar ones though.

* * *

**Chapter 2: Why me?**

* * *

Earlier that day was the most intriguing. See, even with all these rich people, there was a certain Suou Tamaki that practically everyone knew of. He didn't seem much like anyone who was an heir but he was.

Kira couldn't really trust him but there was something on what he said that got him pretty curious on what this "Host Club" was. His hands on the handle, Kira turned it and found himself greeted by an array of blooming sakura petals and, when it recided, found herself in Ancient Japan, greeted by seven samurais of the Meiji Era…

"Irrashaimase!" they said in unison yet their whole romantic aura seemed to drop so suddenly when they saw it was just a guy.

"Ahh… Ryuko-kun," said Tamaki, standing up and walking near him. "I suppose you've come to join my dear club?"

Kira didn't say anything but just nodded, not looking at the members… and definitely not at the little boy in a blue kimono, grabbing his hand and showing him his cute little pink rabbit. "Hi hi Ryuko-chan!! Tama-chan asked you to be a host?" he asked, his orange/brown eyes gleaming.

"Mhmm," he said, nodding as the little shota suddenly gave him his stuffed rabbit. "Take care of Usa-chan etto… What's your name?"

"Kira," he said, more confident now as he looked at the little rabbit in his arms, muttering a soft "Kawaii…" under his breath that only the little Shota could hear.

"I'm Hanny!" he said as a tall man with black hair walked over towards him, carrying a tea cup. "Takashi Takashi!" said Hanny, pulling him by the hand towards Kira. Unfortunately, Takashi had tripped, not seeing a banana peel on the floor, spilling tea all over Kira's shirt.

Silence….

"G-Gomenasai…" said Hanny, on the verge of tears as he looked at Kira, who smiled at him. "It's all right. I don't mind."

"But we should get you something to change into, ne, Kira-san?" said a tall guy with glasses, carrying some papers and jotting down stuff. He pushed back his glasses and said, "Haruhi, can you get us an extra uniform for our guest?"

Haruhi Fujioka. A scholarship student, as well as a commoner with brown hair and big brown eyes.

"Arigato," said Kira, who took the spare uniform from Haruhi. It was around the same time when twin red-heads placed both their arms on his shoulder and said, "We're off to take him to the changing room, milord!"

"Yosh! We shall all see how magnificent a host you will look like once in the uniform!" he said, as the twins pushed him inside the changing room which was covered by just a cloth.

Kira looked at the piece of clothing and sighed, as he took off his shirt.

_By the changing room_

"Ahhh! I wonder how our new son will look like," said Tamaki, apparently thinking of Kira in a uniform.

"I bet he'll look kawaii, ne, Takashi?" said Hanny, holding his Usa-chan tight.

Takashi merely nodded. He didn't sound like anyone who could speak.

"Or maybe he'd look uglier than he already is," said the twins in unison, grinning at each other.

"I can hear you, you know," spoke Kira from inside the cloth-covered room.

"Heehh…" they said, leaning in closer to where Kira was changing. "We didn't know…"

"…You were so sensitive to that."

"Oi, you guys, shouldn't you be a little nicer?" said Haruhi, going over to them.

"It's alright Haruhi!" said Kira, "I know they're just a couple of bakas anyways."

"Oi who're you calling baka?!" they said, as they moved the cloth to the side, only to see Kira look back at them, his face red, his eyes wide.

They immediately closed it. Shocked, theiir faces red. It seemed like Kira… wasn't a "he" after all.

_How'd I get myself into this mess?_

* * *

**End of Chapter Two.**


	3. Chapter 3

Yay after a gazillion years, I finally posted it!  
Been busy with stuff so bleh  
But now tis sem break so I'll be writing more.. Probably. If I don't get caught up with Bleach :

* * *

**Chapter 3: Kira Ryuko... Who is she?  
**

* * *

"Here you go," said Kira, smiling as she handed her customers some tea. No one knew what her "type" was but she seems to be able to charm the ladies without knowing it. Oh, there were also times when she acts like a completely different person, being all mean and all… especially to the twins, who seems to love teasing her.

"I still can't believe Kira's a girl," said Hikaru, who was leaning on a pillar next to Kaoru and Kyouya, who pushed back his glasses and said, "Isn't it obvious?"

"What do you mean it's obvious?!" the twins said in unison.

"Look at that!" said Kaoru, pointing towards Kira who, with the uniform lent to her by the Host Club, seemed a lot more like a guy… a cute one at that.

"Even milord's surprised!" said Hikaru, pointing towards Tamaki… who seemed to be stuck in the same place ever since yesterday which was by the changing room.

"Even still, Ryuko-san is a very talented student. How she entered the school with her gender in the papers as male is something I don't know," said Kyouya.

Okay wait did he just say "is something he doesn't know?" Yeah that pretty much was what the twins and Tamaki were thinking when they heard it. Who IS this Kira Ryuko?

After two hours, the customers had left already. Haruhi and Kira were the ones doing most of the cleaning up seeing the others were being the lazy rich bastards they are.

"Oi, Kira!" shouted a voice from where the otheres were. Kira and Haruhi looked up from the tea cups they were putting back with the others. "What is it?" she asked closing the cabinet.The twins walked nearer towards her and said, "How'd you get in Ouran?"

Kira smirked and placed both her hands behind her head, saying, "Why would I tell you two?"

They looked at each other and hooked their arms around Kira's shoulders. "Tell you what."

"You play a game…"

"…And if you lose, you have to tell us!"

"Alright. What game?" she said, not even knowing what the game was but she knew she was going to win. Ah, never underestimate the Hitachiin twins. Especially when they're grinning at each other ever so slyly.

"The **Guess who's Hikaru game**!" they announced. This was harder than she thought. It was practically impossible to tell these two apart. They're so identical. Kira knew she should've waited til they announced what kind of game it was. Too late to back out now, too, seeing she already agreed.

The twins new they were going to win this. Kira's face clearly reflected she couldn't do it. They smirked at each other and poked her cheeks at the same time.

"Well?" they asked, grinning.

"I'm thinking, you morons!" she shouted at them, making them keep their hands to themselves. Not that this game needs thinking. Oh well. She just needs a bit of luck in this one.

"Er… Kaoru?" she said, not sure as she pointed at the twin at the right.

"Wrong!" the y said, laughing as Kira slapped her forehead. Oh great. She was then pulled by the two and made her sit on a couch, where the rest of the Host Club stood there, waiting for her to start talking.

Kira sighed and said, "Fine," crossing her arms. "Where to begin… Ah right. Well then. Probably should start off by saying I have a Twin Bro-"

"You have a twin?" asked the twins, their eyes lighting up. It always has been a twin reaction. When you hear one has a twin, it's like... Funny. Interrupting someone isn't funny though.

"Yes. I have a twin brother. Anyways…" she said, continuing on…

_"Look. Just do it, alright?" _

_"What do I get from all this?" she asked, her eyes fixed on the computer, Kai right behind her. They've been thinking of hacking the Ouran School's computer to get Kira to replace her brother in the Academy. _

_  
See, her brother didn't wish to enter Ouran. He was just forced to, by their dad. Kira never wanted to… She just didn't care. Refused when told to apply. Kai couldn't refuse. He was the eldest… Even though it was just 5 minutes._

"Oi. Wait. _You_ hacked the school's computer?!" said the twins, in total disbelief.

"That's right," said Kira, nodding, as if it was the most normal thing in the world. She was sipping tea, too. Sipping. Tea. Relaxed. "What of it?"

They were silent. Who would've known this sixteen-year-old could hack the school's computer to change it to Kira being her brother instead yet retaining the same name? This Kira girl…

They still knew so less about her…


	4. Chapter 4

Yaay finally an update! I'm so sorry! I've been so busy !  
This chapter will be a treat for you people, though so be happy!

Disclaimer, right.  
Hunny: Pocky-chan Pocky-chan! Can I do it?  
Alright! Your turn Hunny!  
Hunny: Yaaay! -cough- Pocky-chan doesn't own the Host Club character is any way-  
-tackles Hunny- Uweeeh he's so cuuteee!

* * *

**Chapter 4: A surprise**

* * *

"Oi, Kira!"

The young blond looked behind her to see where the two voices had come from. It was pretty obvious, really. Seeing they were two completely synchronized voices. Her blue eyes clearly reflected her lack of interest as she watched the two red-heads run off toward her.

"What?" she asked, in a somewhat demanding tone that took the Hitachiins by surprised. They thought she wasn't going to get mad at them anymore because of all the things they've done before. That was where they were wrong, though. Kira Ryuko holds grudges.

"You're still mad-"

"-About yesterday?"

Ah yes, the day before. Let's go to a little flashback, shall we?

Well then. It had been around a month since Kira joined the Host Club. Business definitely was blooming and Kira Ryuko had found it quite easy pretending to be a guy, the girls falling for it. She did act like one so well, though. Of course, she had a few moodswings here and there but in the end, it turned out to be an asset. The natural type and the naughty type in one person. Who would've known?

Now to see what the Hitachiins have done. See, whilst Kira was busy cleaning up after her customers were gone, the Hitachiins had been following her practically everywhere! They kept on taking a cup, putting it somewhere, taking another and putting it somewhere else again, it was annoying! Why they were doing that was something unknown to Kira. Frankly, Kira didn't care. She just wanted them to get lost already!

"What are you two doing?!" she cried out, having been fed up with the behavior of the two.

The Hitachiins looked up, their innocent faces on. "We were just trying to help, Kira!"

Kira's eye twitched. She had just about had enough of these two! Earlier in the day, they tried helping her go about her way around a maze.

"Don't worry, Kira!"

"We're the masters of this place!"

Turns out, even they got lost. Around lunch time, they tried helping her with her lunch. That is to say, put it on a table where the Host Club sat. Kaoru was the one holding her tray while Hikaru was behind him.

"Don't worry, Kira!"

"We'll take good care of it!"

Hikaru tripped, Kaoru tripped. Kira Had to line up again. And finally, home economics class. They were baking cookies at that time, the students wearing their aprons. No one knew the purpose of this, though, what with them being incredibly rich. Must be for fun then?

Either way, the two had decided to help her once again. This time, with the ingredients of her cookies. She didn't know what had happened but suddenly, after going off and asking a question from the better cooks of the class, Kira had come back to find her bowl gone. Gone. Vanish. Disappeared into thin air. So it seemed like it didn't disappear. In fact, the Hitachiins had taken the initiative to finish and put it in the oven for her. Sweet, huh?

NOT.

As expected from the rich idiots they were, the two had completely failed in keeping the heat into the level it was supposed to be. Thus, when it was heated well… The oven blew. Yes, blew. Numbers of cookie dough flying everywhere.

Now that was why Kira was made with those two. Those two morons. How could anyone possibly like them? She found it stupid and completely insane.

"Just get lost already, you two," she said, turning her heel and walking off to her classroom. Luckily, she wasn't anywhere near the Hitachiins. Well, actually, she was in Haruhi's column, around two seats before her but they were still far.

The two exchanged looks. Not a mischievous one but a well… Blank one. No one would've known what was going on in their head at that time…

Back in the classroom, Kira was muttering to herself how annoying those two Hitachiins were. Really, can't they just stop trying to 'help' her. Sure she understood their intentions and all…

Well, actually she didn't. She didn't understand _why_ they were trying to help her so bad. Four times in a day? Didn't seem at all normal. They had to be up to _something._

"Ah! Ryuko-kun!"

Kira snapped out of it. Thank goodness someone stopped her just in time. She was about to collide head-on with the door leading to her classroom. She looked to her left to see a girl with black hair. Kira gave a weak smile, rubbing the back of her head and saying, "Ah, I'm sorry. I was a little absorbed in my thoughts. Thank you anyway."

My, that made her face go red. She was stuttering all that time she was trying to say 'Your welcome', immediately running off to her friends. Well, that got Kira confused. She merely shrugged it off, though, walking inside the classroom to her desk. When she got there, though, she received quite a surprise.

On top of her desk…

Was a red rose….


End file.
